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<< Simon, Tomic advance in Brisbane
Brisbane, Australia (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Second-seeded Frenchman Gilles Simon and eighth-seeded Aussie favorite Bernard Tomic were among Monday's first- round winners at the 2012 season-opening Brisbane International tennis event. The

<< Stanford battles Oklahoma State in Fiesta Bowl
Glendale, AZ (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Two teams in the national title picture for much of the season will collide in Glendale on January 2nd, as the Stanford Cardinal and Oklahoma State Cowboys square off in the 41st edition of the Fiesta Bowl. D

<< Wisconsin and Oregon duke it out in 98th Rose Bowl
Pasadena, CA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Expected to be one of the more competitive and entertaining matchups of the postseason, the Wisconsin Badgers battle the Oregon Ducks in the 98th Rose Bowl. Wisconsin won 10 of its 12 games during the regular

<< Nebraska and South Carolina mix it up in Capital One Bowl
Orlando, FL (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - In search of the first 11-win season in school history, the South Carolina Gamecocks have come to sunny Florida to challenge the Nebraska Cornhuskers in the 2012 Capital One Bowl. While failing to reach its ult

Virginia visits LSU in non-conference action >>
Baton Rouge, LA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Virginia Cavaliers and LSU Tigers close out their non-conference schedules this evening in Baton Rouge, as the two teams collide at the Pete Maravich Assembly Center. The Cavaliers are rarely mentioned

Warriors aim to snap skid in desert vs. Suns >>
(Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Golden State Warriors haven't had the best of luck playing in the desert and hope the new year will bring some better fortunes. The Warriors will try to snap a lengthy losing streak at Phoenix when they visit the Suns thi

LeBron hopes to Heat up South Beach against Hawks >>
(Sportsbook Betting Lines) -- Now that LeBron James is engaged, the sizzling Miami Heat are hoping that won't affect his game. James and the Heat look to continue the franchise's hot start tonight versus the Southeast-rival Atlanta Hawks. James and hi

Pacers visit North Jersey to face Nets >>
(Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Indiana Pacers tasted defeat for the first time this season the last time out and look to get back into the win column tonight against the New Jersey Nets. The Pacers had won their first three games of the condensed se

FOOTBALL TRASH TALK

Trash talk has a place in every competitive endeavor (except baseball; those stirrup-wearers are too busy chewing on their sunflower seeds and their supplements to worry about what their opponents are doing).

Fantasy sports is no exception. Any intelligent discussion of the subject would probably start with a thesis statement or a definition of terms. Thankfully, this wont be an intelligent discussion.

Let me just say that I am happy to take a place in this space alongside my talented colleagues, even our commissioner. (You should see how she bleats like a demented paper boy about league fees on our fantasy site).

Trash talking, I would argue, is primarily about amusing your friends, their sheeplike demeanors and sloping foreheads notwithstanding. The best place I have found for football trash talking is at www.SportsAlarm.com.

Beyond the entertainment factor, though, I would recognize that the sophomoric ritual has one advantage, when properly applied. It magnifies your fantasy triumphs and mitigates your fantasy failures by transforming the eventual point total into an afterthought. Winning makes it seem like your opponent really is a truss-owning, lapel-pin-wearing nitwit. And in defeat, trash talk can be the air bag to break the fall from your hyperbolic heights. The plug-necked yahoos on your team, you can say, will be sacking groceries by the end of the season.

The best trash talk, in my view, is layered and nuanced. And it doesnt focus only on your opponents team. It picks apart your opponent. The idea is to create a shock-and-awe-scale blizzard of nonsense, and the goal is to make your opponent drop his hands from his keyboard in exasperation.

What team does your opponent root for? Accuse a Giants fan of having a Joe Namath pillowcase. Wheres your opponent from? Give a look of concern no matter his reply, then say, I'll try to type slower for you next time. Is your opponent into politics? Label everyone a tax-and-spend corporate shill.

Cap all that with a liberal application of irrelevance. For instance, dont just conclude by saying your opponent is a twerp who drafts like my grandmother. Say that your opponent is a sweater-wearing, eyebrow-plucking twerp who drafts his team about as well as Zsa Zsa Gabor gave acceptance speeches at the Oscars. By the time your foe makes sense of that, his starting running back will have had puppies.

But what about you? Hmm? Recall a memorable slam? Have a tried-and-true technique? Know someone who seems impervious to insult? Take a moment and tells us about it. Put together some (fit-for-publication) thoughts. You wont be too busy returning phone messages from your friends, Im sure, to reply.

In addition to the trash talking, the Sports Alarm has a huge gallery of high resolution pictures of beautiful women and models in bikinis. The most popular models are: Lindsay Lohan, Carrie Underwood, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Paris Hilton.